Reflections on “No Social November”

When November arrived, I was genuinely excited for my annual “No Social November.” I’d been craving a break from the noise and chaos of the innerwebs, so having a defined container for the pause felt like a gift. And, as with any break, be it from a relationship, from old habits with food or booze, from anything we do on autopilot, it’s critical to be curious. I treated “No Social November” it like an experiment: What will I learn?

Approaching the month with curiosity rather than white-knuckled “don’t tap that button” energy felt more aligned with my vibe. I haven’t had facebook on my phone for year and I removed IG (still haven’t put it back on yet!) so I wasn’t tempted.

Allowing the month to unfold, here’s are my 5 reflections:

Social Media is so MF’ing loud

The nonstop push of buy this, try that, fix yourself, hustle harder…ugh, it’s a lot. Add the political tension and general unrest of living in America in 2025 and the internet starts to feel like a shouting match. Yes, adorable dog videos help but they’re just a distraction.

Stepping away from the collective noise has felt like a big exhale. I can actually hear my own thoughts again. And the things that bring me joy have room to take up space in my life, not just on my screen.

The phone is a distraction from real life

It’s no surprise that people scroll to numb out, to disengage from the world right in front of them. Nothing grinds my gears like someone at the dinner table on their phone scrolling like no one else is there. When I wasn’t on mine, I watched everyone around me grab theirs in every quiet moment, often ignoring friends, partners, children, etc. The vacant look of someone’s eyes when they could invite authentic connection but they pass for 3 mins of scrolling time…ugh it just hurts my heart (and head) Like dude, pick your damn head up and look at the people around you. With less screen time, my attention sharpened, my body unclenched, and even my stomach eased up.

Turns out stepping away from the glow of the screen meant I could get back to the business of living. Life is out there, not on a screen in my hand.

Make phone usage a tool, not a reflex

Airport line? Check IG. Red light? Quick scroll. My husband getting up from the couch for a minute? Look at e-mail. I’d built this automatic habit of reaching for my phone anytime there was a tiny pause or a transition. It became reflexive and mindless.

However, when I used my phone as a true tool, like calling an Uber, checking if a package was delivered, looking up a soup recipe to make sure I had everything I needed at the grocery store, and then actually put it down, it felt much more grounded. I learned that I don’t need my phone nearly as much as I think, it just became a reflex to hold it, look at it, do something on it. When I view my phone as a tool, it makes using it more mindful. After all, I don’t sit on the couch or in the airport line with my immersion blender (a favorite kitchen gadget that I use for soup). That would be silly…I’m not using the blender so put the tool away until it is needed.

Dopamine might be my favorite drug

Honestly, more than caffeine or booze (quit that is 2019) or even MDMA (haven’t done that since 2018) That little hit of dopamine that comes from “did someone DM me?” or “how many people liked my reel?” kept me hooked and going back for me. The first week without it was a bit anxiety-inducing. But once my brain chemicals leveled out, it felt so much better! Like I’d quit being a compulsive gambler.

It’s no secret that social media is addictive for the same reasons gambling is addictive: dopamine and the pleasure-seeking parts of the brain. We know that the inventors and creators of social media designed it like a casino with lights, sounds, images and hits of “yipppee!” to keep us locked in. When I stop using social media to get my dopamine hit I’m actually showing some love to my brain.

I missed connecting with my friends on social media

No, I didn’t miss some 29 year old “influencer” (back in the 90’s she would have been a QVC model) pushing a complicated skin care regime or "buttery soft” (is that the goal, to be like butter?) leggings. But I did miss my actual friends on the internet. I love sending memes and reels to my pals. The giggles are great and I missed this connection. I love seeing what my friends are up to and supporting them. Without social media it would be harder to show up for folks. I love the connection of social media but would love the algorithm to back off a l little bit

What’s next?

I’m not back on the innnerwebs yet, and I don’t really want to be. I have plenty to say and share: a nearly sold-out yoga retreat, a Sober Curious program starting in January, hiking photos, my dog frolicking on the beach over Thanksgiving weekend, and the loaves of bread my husband bakes. But I’m not rushing to return to the noise and the rush.

Maybe I’ll stick to three days a week instead of every day. I already have a 30-minute IG limit on my phone, but I blast right through it when I’m creating content. As an entrepreneur (a title I’m only recently comfortable claiming), I know I need to be on social media. I love to show up for my work and enjoy being creative in this space. I just want to do it with intention.

For now, being off social media for a little bit longer is what feels aligned. Your texts, emails, and (gasp) actual phone calls have been such a delight, please keep them coming.

I love you. I love connecting. I want more of that connection to happen in IRL, without the shadow side of screen addiction.

I’ll see you, dear human, out in the world.